So I'm totally relieved to be done for Christmas break!
My finals weren't even really that hard, I was just so totally ready to be done with this semester. But, on the other hand, my college career seems to be speeding by. Soon, I'll be starting my second semester of my sophomore year, and when that's over, I'll be HALFWAY done. crazy.
I feel like I just started high school. boy do I still remember that day. But now, I'm 19...I'm almost not a teenager anymore and that's trippin me out.
But...back to me being happy about this semester being over! I can totally tell when I'm spent in my classes when I dread going to EVERY SINGLE ONE of them. It's not like in the beginning of the semester I'm thrilled to get up early every morning to sit in those uncomfortable desks....but this semester some of my classes were actually really interesting because they actually had something to do with my major! I finally felt like I was in college and not just some extension of high school.
So, I knew that I was getting the Christmas Break itch, when I was looking at my cell phone clock every minute in even those classes.
As much as I love Christmas, and love being home...I am totally excited for next semester. my classes are going to be bomb. Esp since I'm starting my minor in FILM. I'm not even sure what that is going to mean to me yet, but...I'm pumped.
High school Musical, was kind of a shot-in-the-dark success for Disney Channel. No one could predict that a made for tv movie could almost single handedly make musicals popular again. I think people assume that the target audience is the tween set and younger, but when they do those surveys, no one counts the over 16 kid who watches them "because of their younger brother or sister." I guess I can see why it would be embarassing to admit that you counted down the days until High School Musical 2, or that you own the soundtrack, and listen to it in your Ipod while you go to sleep at night. ha ha.
But I really feel like for the older fans, the appeal is a lot different than it is for the younger crowd. So it really shouldn't be that embarassing to be a fan. The cast is all over 18, so it's not the same as being a Hannah Montana super-fan. Kids my age can look up to the cast of High school Musical.
For the younger kids, I think the movie is fun, it's colorful, they have cool songs, and Zac Efron's character, Troy, is the ultimate singin basketball player role model a kid could ask for.
For me, the franchise brought my favorite things all in one movie; singing, dancing, and well I was gonna say acting, but i'm not an actress...but I like movies so i guess the third thing would just be that.
Yes, I know they are EXTREMELY corny...but isn't that the point? No one ever said,
"Hey, please take this movie very seriously, we are trying to convey the deep, emotional, angsty issues of High School."
It's fluff, and it's supposed to be fluff--candy for the brain. It's like the high school experience we all wish we could have had.
Sometimes you need an escape like HSM so you can fantasize about how much easier high school would be if our only issue was whether or not to sing in the winter musical. High schoolers get enough of real life high school on a daily basis, so why is it such a foreign concept to want to live in a dream world for an hour and a half.
In my opinion, the third one is the best one, by a long shot. So Disney, don't make a fourth one without the original cast, just leave it the way it is--leave on a good note, don't wait until HSM 6 to realize that no one cares anymore. They graduated, it's over, put it in the vault. Let HSM be a giant happy mark in Disney history, instead of a stretched out, milkin it for what it's worth franchise.
I really don't think that HSM would have been so popular if it wasn't for that cast. If it were anyone else, I have a hard time believing that it would be what it is today.
The fact that they were all relatively unknown before HSM, and viewers got to watch them catupult into fame helped fans feel like they took the journey with them. Off-screen the fact that they are so normal, level headed and best friends, makes viewers want to know more about them not just the movie, which only boosts the movie's popularity.
I know a lot of the appeal for me, had a little to do with jealousy. Everytime I would watch some behind-the-scenes footage I would wish that I could have been apart of that, even if I was just a back-up dancer. They made it look like so much fun, it made their chemistry on-screen so much more real.
I don't like telling people I like HSM only because people think I need to grow up. They assume that I'm naive. Even my dad thinks it's weird that I like HSM so much, he thinks I'm immature.
But what is the definition of maturity? Ruining your life by getting pregnant, or blacking out from a night of heavy drinking and partying? I'd rather live in HSM land. In the real world, I stand alone most of the time, because I don't want to drink and do drugs, and have sex before I'm married. I'd probably fit in better at East High.
The real kids of HSM are probably a lot less perfect and a lot more "real" than their characters, but they still stand above their peers in Hollywood. I don't know where they stand on the issues that I feel strong about, but I do know that there aren't pictures of them in the tabloids falling out of a club in the middle of the night.
And the whole Vanessa Hudgens naked pictures thing, I look up to her so much more now because of how she handled it. I've heard people criticize her for apologizing, suggesting that she shouldn't be apologetic and cater to her fans, but I think that was her smartest move. She isn't Gabriella Montez, she's made mistakes, but who hasn't. In God's eyes, sin is sin, so I can't label her as less of a role model because she made a mistake.
So anyway, on a less deep note, I really wanted to try and capture what HSM means to me without sounding like a crazy obsessed 10 yr old...I hope I got my point across. ha ha
Basically, what I wanted to say is that there is really no reason for people my age, 18-19 yr olds, to be embarassed to admit that they enjoy something so wholesome. It's about time.
During my online pursuit of the opinions of people all over the world on what they think the college experience is, I stumbled upon an anonymous blog dedicated to the college experience. It is written by a now former student from the University of Montana. After recently graduating, he blogged about how the aspirations that an incoming freshman has can quickly dim by the time they are actually ready to graduate. The blogger periodically visits the website of his alma mater to see what is new on the journalism page. The first thing that he says is, "it usually depresses me." Instead of looking back fondly at the school he just left, it brings him regret. "I look back and I am sad because I didn't even try. I went into that school with high hopes and big dreams and I graduated feeling like I had made a huge mistake," he writes. He actually doesn't regret his choice to major in journalism, but letting the competitiveness in his major program get the best of him. "My mistake was that I stopped believing in myself and started listening to people that didn't have a clue about who I was or who I could be."
Some people would argue that the blogger made another mistake by not joining a fraternity to make friends with alumni brothers to ensure job security after graduation. It is a popular opinion amongst college students that the Greek system is the way to go to get the full college experience. I lost count of the amount of times I was told to "join a sorority to makes friends" during freshman orientation. The fact that there are a total of twenty one fraternities and sororities on Georgia State's campus is a testament to the traditional importance of Greek Life in college. That theory also seems to be reinforced in any mainstream media that has to do with college. The ABC family network has a whole drama dedicated to Greek Life on a college campus. The show, appropriately titled "Greek," actually features a variety of college students but what they all have in common is that they are either in a sorority or fraternity. Well, everyone except the stereotypical uber Christian who is against the whole institution.
To be continued...i have to go do other stuff...this paper is too dang long to sit and re type :(
So far at my first year at Georgia State University, I have given them six thousand three hundred and eighteen dollars. Well when I say I, I guess I should say my parents. I am one of the fortunate ones who have the financial support of their parents, and very little loans. Because of my good fortune, most students are paying for school out of their own pockets. One of my friends on Facebook, and real life, Allison Billmaier, (interests: music, cheerleading, boys) is a freshman at Kalamazoo Valley Community College, in Kalamazoo Michigan. She is actually paying for all of her college expenses, and she feels like there is a difference in work ethic between students who fall into these two categories.
"Kids who have to pay for there college themselves try better to make sure things get done and make sure they make every class, otherwise it's their money they're wasting," she said, "but kids whose parents pay just are like 'ehh whatever'. I mean most probably aren't like that but there is a few out there."
She is right about that. Most of us spoiled kids actually care about our grades. But there are probably a good percentage of us who are in college just because it was the natural step after high school, no more important that being promoted to middle school after fifth grade. But it is probably safe to say that whether we pay for school ourselves, or have parents who fund our education, half the reason we go to school is to come out with a fancy degree so that we can have our pick of jobs. If only it were that easy.
(This is the first two pages of my first draft, see previous post titled "college experience")
Sitting in the coffee house located in the school library, I begin to realize how heterogeneous the college community actually is. Towards the end of high school, when "senior-itis" starts to kick in, the typical high school senior starts to fantasize about what college will be like for them. Having little to no personal experience with the college environment, these dreamers have the images of other people to rely on. These images often come from the media, older brothers, or hyped up comedies that portray the wild side of college on the big screen. But in the coffee house, I can mentally take myself out of the environment to observe what the college experience actually is. Or the many things it actually is.
The one thing most college students have in common is coffee. If they didnt have one before, college students are likely to adapt an addiction to coffee once they live through their first all-nighter. So the coffee house is an ideal place to see every kind of college student.
Over in the corner, sipping something sophisticated like a caramel macchiato, sits a studious looking college student. While her perfectly manicured fingers fly across her keyboard, I imagine that she is writing a witty essay about how she became a fashionista and the upkeep it takes to keep herself fashion forward. Or she's on Facebook. Her laptop was turned away from me so I couldn't tell. But she very well could have been doing both--college students are known to multi-task.
Because Facebook is so essential to college life, we have to be connected at all hours of the day. It tells us everything we could possibly want to know about our fellow classmates from their favorite movies, to their views on politics. It's a borderline stalker site.
Facebook mobile allows us to be alerted when someone writes on our wall, or changes their relationship status (Ashley and Chris just ended their relationship--what?!?). When we get a chance to actually sit at a computer, Facebook is always an open window that can be accessed easily. That comes in handy when our attention span starts to go and we need a brain break from whatever school work we were attacking at the moment.
Then there are the kids at the coffee house who need a more long term brain break, and they utilize the nice comfy chairs and couches to squeeze in a good nap. Those kids are located right next to the politically informed, worldly students who park in front of the flat screen to catch up with CNN which is almost always on. Then, sitting at the raised tables in the stool chairs are the students who come to Saxby's to socialize. The use their "outside voices" inside, and I wonder how they made it out of the fifth grade without that skill, and it isn't long before the whole coffee house is in their conversation.
Sitting adjacent to them are the kids who are working hard on their school work, headphones in, to drown out the stool kids. Periodically, I might see one of them put their head down on the table submitting to the work in front of them--sometimes the stress of college calls for a "Heads Up Seven Up" moment. And then there's me. I'm sure I'm not alone in my category, I come to the coffee house mostly to buy time between my two classes. I sit and listen to music, pretending to be working on something, but mostly I watch people. I rarely buy anything which is the product of another side-effect of being in college--"broke-itis"
Today, we were doing peer revisions for our second essay assignment in my Honors English class. My essay in an investigative piece on what the college experience is. I started out kind of trying to prove that the college experience is different for everyone, despite the fact that we have a general understanding about what the "college experience" is.
Yeah...it made more sense in my head.
So after I crank out 7 pages, of the 6 page limit, and get my peer revisions back from my group, it's pretty evident that my paper, is just a bunch of stories and doesn't really make sense.
Then, my teacher tells me that I should create a thesis, "dig deeper" and basically start over.
Cool. I still have a week. I've been known to produce a 500 page article for my school paper, in a single class period.
Then she said I should keep my original draft for later use because it sounds like something from a magazine. :)
So I guess I just have trouble suppressing my future, "feature writing for Elle magazine" self long enough to channel my Soledad investigative self.
So, I'm not completely starting over....just "re-working" and cutting stuff out....a lot of stuff.
So I should get to work...but I think I'm going to post my original draft as a blog!
Will you read it if I do??? ( and when I say you I guess what I really mean, is my mom, lals, beth, and a few extended family members...I'm still workin on my readership.)
Tonight I watched one of my all time favorite movies "Remember the Titans" with my two little brothers.
When the movie came out, they were both too young to be interested, so now, 7 years after it's original release, a movie that I practically have memorized, is brand new to them.
That's why it's so cool to watch it with them, especially my youngest brother who this was his first time seeing it.
Remember the Titans, if anyone hasn't seen it, is a movie about a football team in Alexandria, Virginia in the year 1971. The school was recently integrated, and T.C. Williams high school has the only integrated football team in their district.
Because they have race to worry about, their team becomes specially unique in more ways than one.
It was fun to sit and point out things to my two little brothers, and they probably were annoyed with all the times I said, "Didya catch that?"
So, anyway it's a good movie, and it was a good night. I LOVE a good sports movie, not necessarily because I love sports, but because of the stories and themes that come with a good sports story. One of my most amazing experiences was being on a team.
Most of the time, a team of people, are people who don't choose to be together, so naturally problems arise. How they get through those problems and come together to win is what makes the story good.
So yeah, everyone go and watch a good sports movie, it'll make u feel good. :)
Is it bad that I get goosebumps from watching a movie trailer? I'ts probably not the most natural thing in the world that I enjoy living in fictional worlds better than my own sometimes.
I've been learning a lot about the early age of movies, and mass media in some of my college classes, and it was like sitting in a psychiatrist's office and finally figuring out what was wrong with me.
The whole "withdrawal" and "diversion" aspects of mass media, especially movies is the whole reason why I love to watch them.
I get a little more than annoyed when there is someone in the theatre who just won't stop talking--it's even worse when they're sitting right next to me or apart of my family--because it just ruins the whole illusion.
So, to give my blog a little more purpose for now...I mean, I do enjoy the randomness of it and it will probably be really hard for me to keep it focused, I wan't to start writing reviews.
Maybe that will get me more readers! Imagine if people came here to get my opinion of the latest books and movies.
This past thursday, my journalism class sat in on a lecture by Mona Eltahawy-- "an award-winning syndicated columnist and an international public speaker on Arab and Muslim issues." (www.monaeltahawy.com)
Her lecture was titled "Myspace, Herspace: Women and Alternative Media in the Middle East."
It was so interesting to hear all of the things that women AREN'T allowed to take part in. Especially in Saudi Arabia.
The stuff that Mona was bringing up sounded like issues that women might have gone through in the first half of the 20th century. Not in 2008.
Things like not being able to drive, not being able to participate in sports, to being in danger for being arrested for blogging.
The first two were bans specific for women, which was shocking in itself, but women and men are in danger of prosecution from the government by simply doing what I'm doing right now.
So, it hit me that my blog... doesn't have a whole lot of substance. I mean, it's fun, it started as just my outlet...like a more public journal.
But, the fact that girls just like me can't even have a public place to vent about what they're struggling with, and thinking about, made me feel like I shouldn't take for granted an opportunity to speak out.
So, i just felt like sharing my random thoughts at 4:17 in the morning...I feel like I've done this before... it's cause I have. click "it's cause I have"
But that's beside the point. It's really late....or early...I dont really know.
I'm pullin an all nighter, finishing a rough draft for English.
I can hardly type because I'm so tired despite the fact that I had like........... a lot of coffee today.
But hey, it helped my asthma problem.
"My heart is damaged" according to Danity Kane....it feels ok to me.
I'm really tired....
What is the college experience anyway???
I'm sure this is apart of it.... Nobody sleeps in college, it's like against the rules or something.
Did you know Nick Jonas has diabetes? crazy right? he's like 12....or 15. same thing.
he's really not that much younger than me, so I shouldn't be hatin.
"A little bit longer".....cool song.
This is really coming straight from my brain to the keyboard....i felt like i should record how incoherent and random my thoughts were at 4:24 in the morning, so when I'm a little more sane I can laugh....
but it's really not funny right now.
Whoa....my brain literally cut off there for about thirty seconds....but u won't be able to tell that reading this....how do you know I didnt just make that up?
I didnt.
I'm not that savvy in the middle of the night.
I passed slap happy a long time ago...otherwise, I probly would be peeing in my pants right now over something that is not that funny.
Demi Lovato can sing REALLY well.
I think I'm going to do this until 4:30.
The only reason I'm still going is to keep me from passing out onto my keyboard.
My paper wasn't keeping me up....but i'm not done with it yet.
My class doesn't start till 11 I have time.
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.
I think I just fell asleep with my eyes open just then.
4:28
"Get Back" Demi Lovato....check it out.
I hope that I would recommend this song when I'm more....here. otherwise, dont make fun of my song choice.
but i really like her, so I think I like this song in the daylight hours too.
4:29
it took me a really long time to find the 9 just then.
This is a conversation me and my bff lals had today on yahoo messenger i thought it was blog worthy
jillana: ok so on sunday i was going to go to this church with danielle...
jillana: and i was kinda nervous about it cause i would have to ride the shuttle alone...but i could feel that God really wanted me to go
Melissa: mhm
Melissa: um, are you continuing? cuz i wanna know
jillana: oh sorry, yeah
jillana: ok so i was like "ok God, I'll go if u send me someone to go with, like a cushion, to do the whole shuttle thing with"
jillana: bad idea, you dont really negotiate with God..
Melissa: lol
jillana: so anyway, I was like really not wanting to go alone, so finally I asked my roomate to go, and turns out she had heard of it, had a flyer and everything, and was willing to go with me
jillana: so i thought God had heard my proposition and was sending me my cushion
jillana: BUT
jillana: there's a big but
Melissa: yeah?
jillana: Stephony (my roomate) didnt know if she wanted to go out that night...she was contemplating
jillana: so i was like, ok, let me know, she thought that she might come back in enough time to go to sleep to go to church with me
jillana: so then, i was layin in my bed, it was like 1:00 am and i text stephony to ask her to decide now if she was going to go with me and to not wait for her to get home to decide, cause i wanted to go to sleep
jillana: so she was like "yeah, i dont think i'm gonna go..."
jillana: then i went to sleep, and i didnt turn off my alarm, can't remember if that was a conscience decision or not, but i knew that i didnt want to go without her, so at that point i wasnt really plannin on going
jillana: then, my alarm goes off that morning, and i was faced with the decision to go alone, or go back to sleep.
jillana: i was leanin on sleep...i did stay up late waitin for stephony...stupid.
jillana: but then i felt God telling me to go, but i was still fightin
jillana: so i called my mom, cause i had some strange incorrect feeling, that my mom would be worried about me riding around downtown alone, but she told me that i was a big girl, and to go
Melissa: haha.
jillana: so, then i had no more excuses, and i went against my will...not before embarassing myself by telling Danielle that i was nervous about the shuttle
Melissa: lol
jillana: but she was pretty helpful
jillana: so when I went outside to go wait for the shuttle, and there were other students there, and i sit on a bench....OH WAIT!
jillana: i forgot the most important part of the story...ok so the whole morning, for some reason I was singing "part of that world" or whatever it's called, from The Little Mermaid, and i didnt know why the heck it was stuck in my head
Melissa Hyde: :)
jillana: so i go sit on the bench, and this girl introduces herself and stuff, asks me if it's my first time going, and I say yes
jillana: then i look down.....(climax coming)
jillana: and SHE HAS A LITTLE MERMAID STICKER ON HER BIBLE
Melissa: omg.
jillana: under normal circumstances, i would have been like "huh, little fifth grade, but I like Ariel"
jillana: but i was like freakin out on the inside
jillana: so i kept it to myself, i didnt want to like freak her out and be like "OMG UR MY
CUSHION"
Melissa: haha
jillana: so, we were talkin and she's a journalism major too, she's a sophomore, and it was also another reminder not to judge people by like their appearance, you know how u have like a set idea of what ur potential friends should look like?
jillana: so we didn't really click, I mean we talked a little, but I was open minded, I'm not sure if she liked me a whole lot actually
jillana: but I still had a cushion and the message was on the importance of having friends and stuff and how God didnt design us to be alone, another message i needed to hear, so overall a good day
So, today was my 19th birthday...it is officially over. Sad. I feel kinda old. But it was over all a good day. I can officially say "I'm pushin' 20." heh. My last year as a 'teenager' by definition at least. Cause I really don't feel much like a teenager. I've been legally an adult for a year..but now I'm finally feelin it.
The two and a half years of my life before my younger sister was born don’t really exist in my mind: I just don’t remember them. I guess they weren’t very eventful. My older sister, Jannelle, can remember some of the year before I was born, probably because her whole world was turned upside down. She went from being the center of my parent’s universe to having to share that universe with a smaller, cuter version of herself.
Being the second child, there was no time where I was the center of anything. So for me, the arrival of my younger sister, Julie, was a welcome one—or at least an indifferent one.
Ever since I learned of her upcoming arrival into the world, I was trying to be a good big sister. I sacrificially gave my mom my security blanket to put up for the baby, because now that I was going to be a big sister I had to grow up and stop relying on it for comfort. Once I realized though, how much of an attention hog babies could
be—especially Julie, she cried ALL THE TIME—like a crackhead to her crack, I was too stressed to go without “Blankie,” and rescinded my offering to let Julie keep it.
Julie and I had a weird relationship the first year or so. We didn’t have much to do with each other. As she got to her toddler years, and started to try and push her way into the love-hate sister relationship Jannelle and I had created during the years prior to her life, she couldn’t fit. So for the few years before my mom had another baby, Julie pretty much did her own thing. Once the boys were born she became a floater, flipping from annoying us, to terrorizing them.
But she really didn’t have any other choice.It’s like we formed our groupings by default.Jannelle and I were close in age so no matter how much we fought, she was my go-to when I wanted to talk or play. MJ has the whole ‘male’ thing in common with Mitchell. So even though they’re three years apart, their relationship resembles the one Jannelle and I had, and they’ll always be an alliance against the estrogen in our house.
That left Julie smack in the middle. To retaliate, Julie formed her own special alliance with our dad. She became the ultimate daddy’s girl. Being that she was the youngest girl, it came easy to her and she played the “baby girl” card every chance she got. It used to bug the crap out of me. Why couldn’t I have that kind of pull? I was cute. I was his daughter too, so what was his deal?
It did come in handy though, whenever we would ask for something and our Dad would say no to one of us, we would just send Julie to ask him.
She was our secret weapon, and we milked it.
If we wanted pizza? One of us would dare to ask him before we would send in “the chosen one,” just in case he was in a good mood. If he said no the first time, we’d retreat back to our camp to finalize our automatic plan B that was sure fire to work.
It wasn’t until the ninth grade that Julie would start to become more than a secret weapon to me.
It all started when Jannelle decided she didn’t want to room with me anymore, betrayed our twisted alliance and made a deal with Julie to switch bedrooms. She deserted our “teen suite” that we had created in the back room of the house, so that she would have a room to herself and I would have to share with the annoying pre-teen Julie had become.
She knew how sharing a room with Julie could be, sleepless nights, endless mindless chatter about how old Big Bird was, and why he’d been six for so long.
In our minds, sharing a room with Julie was like the plague, unwanted, and definitely something to be avoided. Which is why she didn’t even give me a chance to fight with her for the other room. She went to our parents, presented her case, and sense Julie was afraid of sleeping alone anyway, the decision was made.
The first night when Julie moved in, I realized that she’d moved past the point of keeping me up at night with stupid questions about Sesame Street, like she did when she was five. I was expecting the same annoyance, but with a different juvenile subject that I was bound to be too mature to tolerate.
But she surprised me.
She still kept me up with stupid stories. But they were more welcome. They were
about the trials and tribulations about life in middle school. That I could handle. Or at least I wanted to think that I could.
“This girl at school automatically doesn’t like me because her boyfriend has a crush on me,” she’d say.
“Whoa, that’s rough. You should really ignore girls like that, what is she gonna do, hit you?” I’d say, as if I really had the experience to back up my ground breaking advice.
But I would still give her the best advice that I could—being the wise freshman I was. Then, I would revel in my older coolness and dispel any rumors she had heard about horrific seniors. It amazed me that the spinach diapers story had made it all the way down to the 6th grade.
Without realizing it, I’d gone from her, always-annoyed-with-her, older sister, to mentor, to eventually her friend. She slowly became my ally, when Jannelle went further into her angsty teenage years, and became too cool to relate to me anymore.
I was reluctant to classify her as one of my ‘friends’ in my mind. It’s weird with sisters sometimes. When you describe one of your friends as your ‘sister’ it means that you’re so close, ‘friend’ doesn’t really cover it anymore. But real sister relationships are often not so friendly. And when two sisters get to a point where they can 'love' and 'like' each other, than that's a real accomplishment.
So slowly, Julie was becoming my friend, one of my best friends. We were growing up, and half the time I didn’t even notice that she was three years younger than me. I liked that she’s quick witted and smart—she’s really always been that way, but I guess I’d always been too preoccupied to notice.
We really have the kind of relationship that is so rare, if not impossible between friends that it had to be influenced by genetics.
We’re different enough that we compliment each other, but alike enough to finish each other’s sentences.
Julie is someone that I can have fun with by doing pointless time-fillers, like coming up with impromptu duet routines.We both love to sing, so when there’s nothing else to do, why not a little karaoke?
Julie was born an alto. Her voice has always been an octave lower than mine, even when I was six and she was three.
So naturally, whenever the duet calls for a boy and a girl, I would give her the male part. It wasn’t me being bossy, no, definitely not.
Not like when Jannelle forced me to pretend to be her dog and eat dry Froot Loops out of a bowl on the floor. And I only did that because I was young and naïve and thought that my whole identity rested in being Jannelle’s playmate.
But this was definitely not the same thing. I can’t sing as low as she can, so that’s why I demand the better part. Not mean, practical.
At least that’s what I thought until we nearly got into a fight over who would be Chris Brown and who would be Jordin Sparks when we sing ‘No Air’ in the car when it comes on the radio. We rarely fight and when we do, it’s almost ALWAYS over stupid stuff like this.
“But you always make me be the boy,” she said
“That’s because you can sing lower than me, retard,” I snapped back, half kidding, half not.
I ended up letting her take the role of Jordin, while I, a soprano, suffered through the tenor bars of Chris Brown’s part. It was a sacrifice, but that’s just the kind of good sister that I am. I mean, I didn’t want her to develop some kind of identity complex from having to “be a boy” all the time.
I love the fact that our relationship has so much depth to it. Sister/ Best Friends are the best because you truly can trust the fact that they will always be there for you. At least I can with both of my sisters.I love Jannelle and Julie very dearly. Jannelle and I have had plenty of good times; it wasn’t always “Froot Loops on the floor” with us. But I guess we just never connected on the same level that Julie and I have been able to. Jannelle and I fight all the time, and I think for now, our relationship is stuck in the “just sisters” phase, but who knows? I heard when you get to be in your twenties, sister relationships become easier. We’ll see.
But right now, I’m enjoying my little Sister/ Best friend. Our TV nights when I’m home from school, most of the time are the highlight of my day. We watch a variety of shows, but the best brain candy is reality TV shows.
We sit together, collectively dropping our IQ’s while we watch The Hills,
“Did you hear what Spencer just said, he is such a b-word,” I’d say, “What kind of fool says that they want to make someone ‘un’ their sister…does that even make sense?”
“Prob’ly not,” She’d say.
Scream for joy when our choice for America’s Next Top Model comes out victorious,
“Yeah! We totally called that Saleshia would win, why are we so good at life?”
“I know, right?”
So, it’s fun right now. But just as quickly as we became closer, we could grow apart. But I doubt it.
Either way, we’ll always be sisters, and that’s suppose to mean that we have to love each other.I’ll always have her back, and she’ll always have mine. I mean, in the words of Spencer Pratt, I can’t make her “un” my sister.
Freshman year of highschool seems to be an understood dark period of the average high school experience. Some darker than others, but everyone usually agrees that their proudest moments didnt occur in the ninth grade.
I'm no different. I've had my share of bad wardrobe choices, mental breakdowns, and "word vomity" conversations with boys.
But most of those instances were forgotten. Tucked away somewhere, where hopefully they'll stay forgotten, in the minds of my graduating class. But there is one particular moment I can't seem to shake from my memory.....
The final bell had finally rung and I was free from another anxiety ridden day of highschool. I didnt know what the big deal about high school was anyway. I wanted to retreat back to my safe haven of the 8th grade. I was the new kid in town, but it didn't really matter in a school of 2200--now 2202 students including my sister and I.
I did manage to join the cheerleading squad--but that had proved to be wasted energy, I still didnt have any real friends. (Ironically, it was the cheerleaders I was most afraid of. Which is what made this moment particularly embarassing.)
I kept readjusting the piece of plywood in my arms, that was way too big for my five foot one frame, as I made my way to claim my spot on the brick wall to wait for my mom to come save me. I just couldn't seem to get it in a comfortable position. I had yet to figure out what this stupid chunk of a tree had to do with math anyway.
As I contemplated the relevance of freshman Algebra, an unexpected raise in the sidewalk caught my foot and wouldn't let go.I tried to save it, play it off as a trip instead of an all-out fall, but before I knew it, the 3x3 ft square of wood went flying in front of me while the rest of my body slammed into the pavement.
The girls thatI was walking behind, my teammates to be exact, stopped laughing long enough to ask if I was ok. Pure obligation, I'm sure.
Of course I wasnt ok. My ego was severely bruised. But physically, I'd survive. After the cheerleaders dissipated, I gathered my things, and my pride, and continued on to my corner to wait for my mommy. Whom I suddenly needed to see IMMEDIATELY.
When my well adjusted sister finally showed up I was still fighting back tears. When she asked me what was wrong, I merely pointed to the newly discovered rip in my favorite jeans, right in the knee. Always sensitive, Jannelle just laughed like those jerk teammates of mine, which made the tears finally come. She was supposed to be on my side.
I pushed my legs out in front of me and gave in to my emotions and cried for my future high school career that was only bound to get worse.
(This was a true story, but the gloomy foreshadowing is totally empty. I had a GREAT high school experience!)
This looks so fun, I got the idea from my Bff Lals, who inevitably got it from someone else, so we're all just big 'ol followers, but whatever.
1.Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2.Put it on shuffle
3.Press play
4.For every question, type the song that's playing
5.When you go to a new question, press the next button
6.Don't lie just to be cool ...psht. like I would do THAT.
This is the soundtrack of my Life
Opening Credits: "Get UP" Ciara, Step Up soundtrack, (one of my favorite movies, so...appropriate)
Birth: "Different Now" Out of Eden, (kind of a cool metaphor, if you've heard the song.)
Waking Up: "These Four Walls" Miley Cyrus, (I've never really listened to this song, so...nothin cool to say...kind of angsty to wake up to though)
First Day At School: "Everybody Wants Ya" S Club 7 ( heh pretty motivating.)
Falling In Love: "One Step at a Time" Jordin Sparks. (cool)
Fight Song: "Like You" Bow Wow and Ciara. (Really?... Seriously?... I was hoping for something cooler for my FIGHT song...boo. Dang zune...)
Breaking Up: "Each Other" Katharine McPhee (this is a break up song so...score.)
Prom: "Hydrolics" B5...( I dont even know why this is on my zune.)
Life's Okay: "Say it" Britt Nicole ( I like this song...upbeat.)
Mental Breakdown: "Fairy Tales" by Jojo ( every time I hear this song, I have a mental break down so...score again.)
Flashback: "Ordinary People" by John Legend (atleast he sounds good.)
Wedding: "Shortie Like Mine" by Bow Wow and Chris Brown. ( HA HA HA HA HA ...I wish someone would try and sing this at my wedding...I'd shove cake in their nose.)
Birth of Child: "Shawty Get Loose" by Lil Mama, Chris Brown, T Pain. ( heh. that would be funny.)
Final Battle: "Don't Stop Moving", S Club 7 (Appropriate, cause more than likely I would be running in my final battle...or dancing.)
Death Scene: "Lucky", Britney Spears ( ha ha ha ha ha...i hope this is self explanatory, cause I have nothing to say.)
Funeral Song: "The Christmas Song" The Jackson 5 ( someone PLEASE play this at my funeral HA HA HA HA)
End Credits: "Do it to it" Cherish ( overall a successful movie I'd say :) )
Ok, so on Monday, I started my first day of my new life at a new college! This school is like a billion times better than my old school in terms of location, racial make up... a lot of things. So naturally, as anyone is when they're about to embark on greatness, I was majorly nervous.
But, fortunately, or unfortunately, dependin on how u look at it, those feelings were quickly stifled once I was put back into the classroom setting, and the realization hit that it was, in fact, still school.
My new school became de-glamorized, any my promised land was no more than the old one but in a city where they actually have their own newspaper and dont just bum off of the college's.
But, after the initial shock wore off, that the fantasy school didnt quite live up, I put things into perspective.
Did I really come here for the thriving academics?...No.
If that were the only factor, I probably would have stayed at my old school, cause I'm pretty sure they are higher up on the academic food chain.
But this school offers SOOO much more than that. Being in an urban, downtown environment, I'm exposed to a lot more things than I would be out in the country.
I wanna be a journalist, well I'm just a hop, skip away from countless newspapers and magazines, waiting for their next intern to victimize.
I'm around a greater variety of people, the endless sea of sorority girls, was getting a little tedious.
But just being in this new environment has given me the chance to learn about myself...for instance...
I've noticed that I can be very introverted in a new situation. I guess that's to be expected, but some people can just walk into a room of strangers and be the life of the party.
--Maybe 'life of the pary' isn't the exact expression I wanted to use, but 'life of the classroom', just doesnt sound the same.
So anyway, usually on the first few days of class I try to sit in the back and observe. The only class that I participate in pretty early on, in English. It's my only honors class, and there aren't a whole lot of people in there. Probably like 15 or 16, Actually no, there are 21. I remember her counting.
So anyway, I don't know what it is, but I feel more comfortable in an English class. Ever since AP Lang senior year when I became accustomed to reading all of my rough drafts in front of the class...talk about being vulnerable.
So, during my time of observing, I've logged some pretty interesting personalities into my brain. I felt like Harriet the Spy, pretty hard core.
But like Harritet, I've learned my lesson about writing that many details about people. Cause no matter what you do, what you write always seems to find it's way to get back to people.
And the people I'm bound to write about wont be like Sport and Janie and forgive me and be my friend again at the end of 90 minutes.
But, who knows, maybe one day when I'm out of college I'll write about my college experiences, in full detail, when I won't be seeing these people everyday. Maybe I'll still change the names...just in case.
Mmk, just to clarify, I'm not a little teeny bopper runnin around worshipping the ground Miley Cyrus/ Hannah Montana walks on....just throwin that out there.
BUT, It really impresses me at how much that girl has accomplished. I mean, yeah Disney and their tween idol cranking machine, could take credit for the billion dollar empire that they've built around 'Miss Montana' but you have to admit, the show and the concerts and the movie, just would not have been the same if JoJo had accepted that job.
So it reaaaallly bugs me when in an article about the up and coming Disney stars the journalist will end the article, or sprinkle it in there somewhere, "Miley who?" or "Move over Hannah Montana!" I mean really, it could be harmless, they are more than likely just trying to express how talented the new kids really are, BUT if I were Miley reading that might be a little dangerous to my psychie.
It would make me think that I needed to do something to remain the teen queen of disney. I dont know if that is what Miley would be thinking...hopefully she just let's all of those comments roll off of her shoulders but I dont know....it would bug me.
So, I totally called it when I said that God would take care of everything when it came to my lost stuff. Because...you guessed it, somebody found it.
Yeah, a lady who works at the school emailed me a few days ago saying that I need to call her and pick it up, so soon I can be all decked out in my college apparel. I'm so pumped.
What I'm not pumped about is how I can't seem to find a way to get on the 'healthy lifestyle' train. It's like, I just like junk food too much to give it up, and that is a bad bad thing.
It's got me a little depressed and I know from all the reading I do that eating and exercising makes you feel better. and I wont be depressed anymore. Especially with all of the endorphins rushing to my brain.
Yesterday, while watching MTV's Once Upon a Prom I was pleasantly surprised. I'm not much of a country music fan, but after the show yesterday I am officially a huge fan of Taylor Swift.
Before the show, all I knew about her was the few bars of 'Our Song' that I couldnt get out of my head. But after watching her on the show I couldnt believe how genuine the girl was. She has a special quality about her that when she's on TV and when you read articles about her, you cant help but wish that you were her best friend.
I mean, it was unreal how she took an endless amounts of pictures with probably every single person in the high school with out an ounce of annoyance on her face....Now, you might just think she's a really good actress. Just playing along with all of the 'little people' because after all, they are the ones who have made her as successful as she is. But seriously, NO ONE is that good at hiding their true feelings, which makes me think that this girl really truly DIDNT mind accomodating all of her fans, she actually seemed to enjoy it a lot.
I was trying to understand it, she really doesnt get to hang out with kids her own age much, and she really very possibly could be that grateful for her fans, but still, I dont think I would be able to keep a smile on my face as random strangers came up and put their arms around me before they ask if they can take a picture with you.
Ahhhhmazing.
So yeah, there was a bunch of other examples for Taylor Swift's genuine graciousness that I cant remember because there were really too many of them. But basically, she's really cool, and it doesnt matter that I can barely stomach half of her album.... I'm a fan.
So today I was set to embark on one of the most boring and tedious events of my entire existence....Freshman Orientation.
"Huh. Why would Jillana, a rising SOPHOMORE need to be at a freshman college orientation today?"
Well, in college, they could care less if you've already been through the hectic experience of freshman year. If your credits havent transferred over yet at the time of orientation registration, you're a freshman...end of story.
So, whatever, it's a new school, I'm transferring, what's a little extra information gonna hurt?
Turns out.....it hurt....it hurt real bad. like, CUT ME DEEP.
It all started out pretty tame, we woke up late...nothin new. But we still got there in time, despite leaving forty minutes past our set departure time... Things were lookin' up.
And that's where the fun stopped....Dont get me wrong, the day had sporatic spurts of enjoyment. The 'Inceptors'--students who ran 'Incept' the orientation program---were pretty funny, but they were also my age, and had the same amount of college experience as I did, so....that was a little weird.
But, despite being there for like ten hours, and having to sit through several sessions of repeated information, and doing a few stupid embarassing freshman 'get to know you' games. I also rubbed the panther's nose...but anyway, Despite that stuff, I guess it really wasnt that bad.
So, after we got all of our questions answered, and I signed up for the best schedule of my college career, complete with one honors course, I was on my way... feelin' pretty good about myself.
To cap of a pretty-semi-ok day, we went to the campus bookstore. I'm always up for shopping so I was pumped. I got a couple of t-shirts, a lanyered and wallet.
Well, then nature called, and I'm starting to think I shouldnt have answered the phone. At first I was gonna hold it until we made the forty minute drive back home, because I was itching to go back and hop in my warm bed for a good 6 oclock pm nap, but I decided since we were passin a bathroom, I might as well...you know, take care of business.
Apparently, I was so tired and exhausted and hungry, that I went in the bathroom with three bags, my purse, my incept bag, and the shopping bag from the bookstore, and came out with two.
Guess which one I left?
So, we get all the way home when I realize that my t-shirt, one that I bought for my dad and my little brother, my brand new Id card (kinda glad I lost that actually, the picture was a little questionable) were all still sitting on the bathroom sink.
Crap.
If it was my money, I don't think I would be as upset as I am about wasting my parents money. Who knows if I'll get that stuff back, and some loser is probably off now swiping my id card at all the vending machines usin up all of the twenty dollars that was on there.
But I'm really trying not to stress about it...Really trying to trust God with everything. but it's hard cause....I want my shirt back.
Ok, so it's actually 4:41. But Four in the Morning, is a Gwen Stefani song, so I thought that would be a cooler title.
I have no freakin idea why I am up this late....Oh no wait. That's a lie, I do know why.
It probaby has something to do with the fact that ever since the summer started, or ever since college started actually, I've pretty much turned into an owl.
Except now, instead of rolling out of bed at seven in the morning to go to class, then taking a five hour nap as soon as I get back to my dorm room, I get to sleep in as late as I want because....I STILL have no job.
Just when things were starting to look up with the whole interview with the movie theatre, I find myself a week and half later still unemployed.
So I sleep.
Then I stay up till the wee hours of the night, because technically at 4:45 am I've only been up for like thirteen hours, and I had a vanilla coke like three hours ago, so I'm pretty wired.
I think being a night owl is creating hallucinations. I could have sworn, I heard someone walking through the leaves in our back yard. So much so that I went all the way upstairs to find my dad, who then sent me on wild goose chase for his 'big flashlight' just so we could conclude that the noise maker was probably a deer, since by the time he got out the flashlight and shone it into the darkness, the perpetrator was gone.
So now I'm all paranoid waitin for the deer, or Jason or Freddy to appear in the back yard again.
It is now 4:50 am. I think in ten minutes it'll be safe to say that I've pulled an all nighter, my dad will be waking up--again-- to go to work, and it'll be gettin light outside soon.
I looked up the lyrics to the Gwen Stefani song of the same title as this entry, to see if I can pull out a line or two, that I could relate to my experience tonight. But like every other song out there, it's about love. Figures. so I guess I'll have to make up my own song.
Four in the morning: By Jillana Jones
Wakin up at 2:30 pm I stayed up real late last night But now I've slept away most of the day I guess I feel alright
But it hurts when I think, when I get to thinkin Cause school is over now
....Alright seriously? What made me think I could sit here and write a song....'specially on NO sleep.
I really need to learn how to actually follow through when I tell someone "I'll pray for them."
It's so automatic for me as a Christian, and I think it's true for a lot of Christians, when someone shares something about their life with you to just say, "Well, I'm praying for you."
Am I really?
It's sad that it's so easy to forget about all the promises I make--to people to lift their concerns to God--when my prayers are filled with selfish agendas. I'm not saying I should never tell God my own issues, I should ALWAYS tell God my issues.
But it seems like I'm so caught up in my own frivolous worries I neglect to pray for my friends and family who have loads more to worry about than I do.
So, this summer I have decided to finally read all of the books from my long mental list of books that I need to read. Most of them, I already have, or someone in my family has, and I have yet to read them.
What would posess a college student to spend the summer reading you may ask?
Truth is, I dont really know either. I guess part of it is boredom, part is because I STILL have no job...but mostly because since we moved to this town the summer after my senior year, I really havent had a chance to make friends who live near by. It's really weird to have like zero friends in the town you live in...so anyway, since I basically have no life, I've taken up pleasure reading.
It's actually been pretty enlightening. I hate to admit this, but I have never really enjoyed reading books unless I had to for school. It's not like I NEVER read a book just 'cause' but it definitely wasnt often.
So, yeah from my new found hobby I have discovered that I really like 'stories.' It fascinates me how a writer can make really complicated stories, that causes the reader to think.
And I also really love movies, so I've decided that along with becoming a world renown journalist, I would love to write screen plays. But I think if I was a screen writer, I would be selfish, and would want to be apart of like the entire process. Like, "I wrote this story! I should be able to cast it, direct it, produce it...." yeah. we'll see. I'm only 18.
Ok, so sometimes I feel the need to share my opinion about a lot of things.... so here goes.
Today.... Pop culture.
So I've come to the conclusion that...
1. I really like writing in extremely short paragraphs, I really dont know why.
2. I could never be a entertainment reporter, you know, like Ryan Seacrest. I dont think I could be all nice, and polite while I tried to pry into someone's life. Seems like somethin of an oxy-moron, and a little devious.
If I were Ryan Seacrest, I would probably have to pick one or the other, like you're either pushy and nosy, or you're nice and you mind your own business.
For instance, I'm watchin TRL, and the first thing I notice when they bring out Chris Brown, is his little 'mohawk' or 'faux-hawk' thing he's got goin on. And, I'm baffled, because...No one seems to notice.
I guess it's really not that important, but I think it definitely deserved atleast a second or two of the interview time. I mean, how many different ways can he be asked what kind of girl he would date, WE ALL KNOW HE'S DATING RIHANNA.... so we should already have our answer. The problem is, since they wont 'confirm' it, the reporters still have to go on pretending that Chris Brown is a free man.... oh the tangled webs we weave.
---BREAKING NEWS.--- R Kelly was found not guilty....WT!?! that's all I have to say about that. and maybe a few 'What the craps."...that's acutally what I said when I found out.
ANYWAY...
If I were Ryan Seacrest, or you know, had his job, the first thing I would want to know from the cast of the Twilight movie, is if they actually read the books before they shot the film. No one has asked that so far. That's important to know, you know, for a lot of reasons, not who they think would win in a fight, their characters, or the ones from Harry Potter....seriously? who cares.
So I've finally discovered why I was having such a hard time writing on my blog frequently, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to my writing.
In every other facet of my life, I'm totally the opposite of a perfectionist. Why can't I be all perfectiony when it comes to keeping my room clean, or my grades. I guess it's because writing is my outlet. It's how I express myself, so I guess I just want to make sure that i get it right.
But what I'm trying to realize is that the more I write freely, and without thinking and analyzing so much, it turns out way better....Or maybe not better, but atleast I have more to work with. Nothing is worse than a writer's block.
So here's to writing freely. My first free topic....Twilight. A book that hit me from left field. I have no idea the book even existed...
I feel so out of the loop.
But because of my older sister and her friend starting their own two people "book club." I have officially become a "twerd" or "twi-hard" or whatever twilight fans call themselves.
When I heard that the books were supposed to appeal to the same fan base as the harry Potter books, I'll admit, I was way turned off. I mean, I guess it's cause I've had a history full of problems with Harry Potter, but anyway they totally caught me by surprise. I read all three of the hefty books in like a week and a half. Totally record speed for me, being that I dont read that much hardly ever, let alone that fast.
So I feel a little too overwhelmed with information right about now to begin to write any kind of book review. But I will say to anyone who hears the word "fantasy novel" or 'vampire' mentioned about a book and gets immediately turned off, give the Twilight trilogy a chance!
They're pretty much the bomb.
Ok, so I have to go get ready. I have a JOB INTERVIEW. I know. Shocking. :)
Saturday, May 31, 2008
So, after I registered my blog on http://www.blogged.com/, I started to get a lot more hits. It really makes me curious to who is looking at my blog, what their stories are, how they happened to stumble onto "just jillana". Maybe someone was mindlessly searching Google, (as I find myself doing a lot.) Maybe they were searching for cool blogs to read, and they stopped at mine. For that, I'm really flattered. Maybe they clicked on the link, looking for something else, but found me. The people I really wonder about are the ones who actually stay, and look around.
Then I get a little self conscience knowing that complete strangers are reading my sometimes scatter-brained opinions, I really don't know who is sitting on the other side of the screen laughing at my retartedness. But that's ok, because I know that a lot of people who actually read my entries after accidentally reaching my blog, never leave comments anyway, so atleast I never have to hear what they think of me.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
1. Emotional Labor- is work specifically intended to produce a desired state of mind in a client and often involves putting on a false front before clients.
2. Emotional labor is a form of job, where the employees are almost actors. No matter what they are actually feeling, they have to act friendly and personable to the clients, because their job is dependent on their attitude.
3. A lot of jobs dealing with direct customer-employee relationships could be seen as some form of emotional labor, but a major form is food servers. Whether they are in fast food, or in a high scale restaurant, people who serve food, must cater to the customers every whim, and do it with a smile. They have to create an atmosphere that is pleasing to the customer, to avoid the consequences of a customer's one bad experience.
4. Having a good attitude if you work in the food service industry is crucial because often their wages depend on it. Most waitors and waitresses, dont have very high salaries and their money depends on their tips. So even if the customer is screaming at them and being difficult, they have to be nice if they want to make any money from them. While their main job description is to serve food, the next important, which is almost just as important, would be to please the customer and create a pleasing atmosphere for them, so they will come back. If one waitress is rude to a customer, word could get around pretty quick, especially if the customer was some kind of restaurant reviewer, and that one waitress' bad behavior could tarnish the image of the entire restaurant.
This was an entry for my concept notebook, in my Sociology 1101 class last semster. And now, I possibly get to live it. After turning in countless applications for my first job...ok like five. NO ONE HIRED ME. I guess cause I have no job experience, they think i'm totally incompetent, but I guess they dont realize how much of a job, being captain of the Varsity cheerleading team, Feature section editor of the Newspaper, and Section divider editor of the yearbook can be.
So...one of my favorite songs, is Dream You, by Stacie Orrico. It's on her 'new' album. It was supposed to come out like literally two years ago but according to her website, it's "temporarily post poned" so much for temporary, I have a feeling that's it's never coming out.
Atleast when Stacie Orrico was a Christian singer, she had a following.
No, I shouldnt be mean, I dont know if lack of funding is the reason for the 'temporary' postponement. Anyway, she did release a couple singles on her Myspace, before the album was canned, and Dream You was one of them. The song is about a girl who dreams of her perfect guy 'in the mornin', noon, and night' and it's basically is saying that the only perfect guy exists in your dreams.
It's not too deep, but it did get me thinkin. Besides the fact that her song is a total rip off from the theme song of Dreamgirls, cept in masculine form of course, but the fact that I feel the need to hold on to some form of hope of a perfect guy in my head atleast, because he hasn't seemed to manifest himself in real life yet. I just hope that when he does, I don't miss him cause I was holdin on too tight to Dream Guy.
*correction, I just read that the reason 'Beautiful Awakening' Stacie's third studio album hasnt been released in the United States and Canada yet is that there were problems during the merging of Virgin and Capitol records, and Stacie is a free agent. I still hope it's released soon!
So last night, me and my sister were watching The Devil Wears Prada....we started it at midnight, real smart.
Anyway, when we were done, it was...you know around 2:15...and as soon as I was about to go to sleep, I hear the ever charming little aim diddy, that plays when someone sends u an im. I look to see who could possibly be up at this hour, silently kicking myself for forgetting to sign out, again, leaving my friends to think that I'm there when I'm really not. It's my friend from middle school, Billy.
Deciding that Billy was worth sleep deprivation, I replied and we started to catch up, when I notice that the blue light on my web cam comes on, and this little video chat invitation pops up. Problem is I dont remember inviting Billy to video chat, and before I could correct my mistake, I look at our conversation to see that Billy was saying "Cool" in response to being able to see me. But me, being a little oblivious still, I was like..."What?" he was like "Oh I dont have a camera though"...then I realized that the invitation had gone through, and he was looking at me, looking "bright and shiny" at 2:30 in the morning.
The worst part was, when I tried to end it.... it wouldnt go away...I kind of flew in a small panic, becuase I havent seen Billy since like 8th grade...it's not like I was trying to impress him or anything, he was like my brother.
But as he was saying how I looked much older than he remembered... I was trying to get the computer to unfreeze so I could end our video chat, hide from the web cam, and proceed to inform him that it has been five years, so of course I would hope that I looked older than I did when I was 13.
And finally, when I got it to go away his final comment which made the whole experience that much more embarassing was something along the lines of..."well atleast you dont im in your underwear"...Yeah, good thing I dont im in my underwear cause that would have opened a whole 'nother can of worms.
You walked with me, footprints in the sand And helped me understand where I'm going You walked with me when I was all alone With so much I know along the way Then I heard You say
I promise You, I'm always there When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair I'll carry you when you need a friend You'll find my footprints in the sand.
this song is obviously based off of that Footprints poem that no one knows who wrote, but Leona Lewis is awesome! love that CD, love this song
So, I've decided that it makes no sense to have a blog when the only people that read it, talk to me on a regular basis, so I could just tell them in person what I write on my blog. So the reason I wanted to start a blog was so that random people that I didnt know, could read my writing...you know reaching the multitudes. My mother...who writes about cards gets thousands of views from all over the world. I got one from Florida! I dont know anyone in Florida, and have no idea how they reached my blog, but it's cool. So since my mom writes about cards, people view her blog for ideas and advice, because they are also card makers. What do I write about?...nothin. So no wonder the only people who read this are my friends. I only write about me. how selfish.
on the subject of secular music, I think that you have to be very careful of what you listen to. Music can affect your mood, your thoughts, which can affect your words and your actions. I do listen to secular music, but I'm very careful to what songs and what artists I listen to. I read the Chris Brown cover issue of Ebony, because, while he is an amazing singer and dancer, I was really interested in finding out who he is as a person. My sister thinks this is weird, but for some reason, I can't justify listening to someone's music, if I don't agree with how they live their life. It just doesnt sit right with me for some reason. So, I turned to Ebony to find the truth, because you can read all of the teen stalker mags you want, and you might find out what his favorite candy bar is, but you wont find out squat about what he's like as a person. So, I've concluded that, every single person on this earth is a sinner, and I really dont want to seem like I feel as if I'm better than someone. But it still bothers me to see someone, like Chris Brown, who obviously knows who God is, who Jesus is, probably has all the head knowledge in the world, not be saved and totally give his life to the world. The article disappointed me because I found out that one of the only songs on his new album, that I like listening to, wasnt really the kind of song that he wanted to do. It was just to keep certain people happy. bummer. What is really a bummer, is that it is incredibly hard not to like the kid. Whenever he's interviewed, or on TV, watching him, I cant help but be taken in by his Will Smith like humor and charm. But then, I remember what he stands for, what he sings about, and it's like you become a torn fan. Maybe I should just cut him out all together.
So, yeah from my new found hobby I have discovered that I really like 'stories.' It fascinates me how a writer can make really complicated stories, that causes the reader to think.
